Niggas ain't shit. They give you the whole bullshit that they love you to death and thatthey wanna wife you but at the end of the day... If they cheated once they will cheat again. No matter if you be the perfect partner or spouse or a complete monster or bitch...nothing, I repeat nothing changes
Just when you thought shit was getting better...
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Forgiveness...
Today, on the day before Yom Kippur, a Jewish day of atonement and the most holiest of Jewish holidays, I’d like to take this opportunity to not only ask God to forgive my sins, wrongs, faults and flaws. I want to tell anyone and everyone that I have ever hurt or upset, that I am sorry. It takes a lot to ask for forgiveness but it is worth the trouble even embarrassment. This is not something that I often do especially if the offense I did was intended in revenge or retribution and definitely so when I feel that I am right (which is most of the time). There have been times when it was my fault or transgression and yet I still didn’t utter a simple “I’m Sorry.” But here I am at the end of my 20’s and starting a new chapter in my life. I want to close the chapter on all things undone or broken.
My intent is not to make new friends with old acquaintances or “kiss up/make up.” It is simply to apologize. Most people spend their time repenting from guilt alone but I feel that I am bigger than that. What is so wrong about forgiveness or begging someone’s pardon? There are those I felt caused or earned my wrath but two wrongs don’t make one right at all. Regardless how many times do people simply say ‘I’m sorry’ or I forgive you without care or concern of the why’s or how’s? Well I say forget that because my thing is: So what of the past, I want to bury the hatchet. Besides that I’ve lost too many friends and loved ones not to mention the death toll that continues to rise outside my front window to carry on being petty. I just hope the “other parties” feel the same.
So in saying sorry, I don’t feel like I’m brown-nosing. And at the end of the day though it may feel good to do so… I didn’t do it because of the “feelings” alone. I did it because it was the right thing to do and holding a grudge doesn’t prove or solve anything. No you don’t have to “let” this person back into your life or circle but to let them know that their forgiveness is wanted and your apology is sincere…is worth more than. I can try so many times but I know that my heart is good with God in the sincerity of my attempts.
On Yom Kippur, God mercifully erases all the sins we have committed "before God"—but not the sins we may have committed against our fellow man. We need to first approach any individual whom we may have wronged and beg their forgiveness. This applies whether the offense was physical, emotional, or financial (in which case, seeking forgiveness is in addition to making appropriate monetary restitution)… Does “My Name is Earl” sound familiar? LOL
With that being said…who do you owe an apology to?
Who is asking for you forgiveness?
If you’re not in the grave… it’s not too late!
My intent is not to make new friends with old acquaintances or “kiss up/make up.” It is simply to apologize. Most people spend their time repenting from guilt alone but I feel that I am bigger than that. What is so wrong about forgiveness or begging someone’s pardon? There are those I felt caused or earned my wrath but two wrongs don’t make one right at all. Regardless how many times do people simply say ‘I’m sorry’ or I forgive you without care or concern of the why’s or how’s? Well I say forget that because my thing is: So what of the past, I want to bury the hatchet. Besides that I’ve lost too many friends and loved ones not to mention the death toll that continues to rise outside my front window to carry on being petty. I just hope the “other parties” feel the same.
So in saying sorry, I don’t feel like I’m brown-nosing. And at the end of the day though it may feel good to do so… I didn’t do it because of the “feelings” alone. I did it because it was the right thing to do and holding a grudge doesn’t prove or solve anything. No you don’t have to “let” this person back into your life or circle but to let them know that their forgiveness is wanted and your apology is sincere…is worth more than. I can try so many times but I know that my heart is good with God in the sincerity of my attempts.
On Yom Kippur, God mercifully erases all the sins we have committed "before God"—but not the sins we may have committed against our fellow man. We need to first approach any individual whom we may have wronged and beg their forgiveness. This applies whether the offense was physical, emotional, or financial (in which case, seeking forgiveness is in addition to making appropriate monetary restitution)… Does “My Name is Earl” sound familiar? LOL
With that being said…who do you owe an apology to?
Who is asking for you forgiveness?
If you’re not in the grave… it’s not too late!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I Just Don't Understand People (A BITCH BLOG)
I really don't understand how some folks say one thing and then do something completely opposite. I mean as humans, we have every right to be indecisive and surely change our minds. Further, every organism in existence is in a constant state of flux (constantly moving).
But with all of that in mind, if you are constantly standing for nothing, contradicting yourself and always inconsistent, it not only makes you unreliable and untrustworthy, it makes you for lack of a better word a coward.
Sure I've taken the easy route out but at the end of the day I had to live with my decision. But sadly there are some people in the above situation that have not only the audacity to brush their actions under the rub but they simply refuse (and often get upset) when their decision or action that has affected others has made someone irate.
Anyway I won't go on but as a people, we need to get it together. We need to make choices that not only better ourselves but those around us even if they may not see it that way at first. (Tough love being the best course of action) This is especially so in the event that it may be the hardest choice you have to make. Someone always has to do that every now again i.e. destroy a city to save a planet. I know that is far-fetch but someone in history had to.
On that note: MAN UP!!!
Til Later....
Monday, August 16, 2010
And the moral of the story is....
Once upon a time there was a girl, carefree, happy, and who yearned to express herself at any given time.
One day her mommy sat her down and told her it wasn't normal to be so free-spirited and that her behavior should be toned down to what society demanded of her. Her mommy advised her that she should figure out what to do what her life, go to school, have a family and/or the usual.
And so she did...
One day while in high school, she still felt the need to rebel and not conform to the usual, drugs, sex, overachieving/underachieving or activity that the other teens were engaged in...but just to exist happily.
Then one day she met a boy who said he loved her and although she managed not to give in to his desires for a while, she did shortly before her 20th birthday. But it made her feel heavy and empty still. And in turn, he felt the coldness upon them both.
And so she did...
One day while in high school, she still felt the need to rebel and not conform to the usual, drugs, sex, overachieving/underachieving or activity that the other teens were engaged in...but just to exist happily.
Then one day she met a boy who said he loved her and although she managed not to give in to his desires for a while, she did shortly before her 20th birthday. But it made her feel heavy and empty still. And in turn, he felt the coldness upon them both.
They tried to make it work but he knew better than her that she was unhappy and unaroused. She knew that she cared for and loved him deeply but it wasn't the love he was giving to her that she was missing on. It wasn't even penetration. And despite making it work, they were from the same plane yet different worlds, that tried desperately to collide... but eventually everything comes to end and falls apart... so they parted ways.
But then one day she met a girl and she felt complete, she met friends like herself, happy, expressive and clever. But most importatnly, they were free... They, like her were unafraid to be themselves. Seeking equality and being out felt good. She was alive once more.
But the of the rest world and loved ones she knew told her that she was weird and trying to be something she was not. They told her that the music she listened to, the clothes she wore and the orientation she yearned for was wrong. They told her to be "normal" and to be what they deemed her to be.
And so she did...
She felt lost, drunken, confused, crazed, enraged... yet her void that had since left loomed greatly over her head once more and then it happened... she lost herself... shortly thereafter depression set in, pills and razors nearly set her free but it was later she would be saved... or would she...?
She met another boy, and he gave her the greatest mistake of her life. A child. It was a miracle and a gift. Nothing joyed her more than that tiny, perfect person. Someone who she bore unto the world who she would raise to be unafraid, free-spirited and gifted like she had been. But it would be nearly impossible to harness that yet reclaim the freedom she had once lost but she would die trying. Her new mission was to protect this treasure at all costs... The vicious cycle needed to be destroyed for her daughter's sake.
Incredible? Yes! Impossible? No!
Difficult? Surely! Inevitable? Definitely!
Never let go and lose yourself...even to the ones you love. And never allow someone to hinder doing what makes you happy (or successful to you) because they can't do it themselves...
To be continued...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What Happened to the Love??
Today’s Hump Day Thought of the Week is brought to you by the word/thought/emotion: LOVE.
Well I was driving to work the other day like I always do and after dropping my daughter off at school I listened to the radio. Normally I prefer a CD or the shenanigans of talk radio or news in the morning but I felt the urge to hear some good ol’ Rhythm and Blues. Well I must say that although, it incites a “feel good urge” and it makes you bob your head, it by all means does not move your soul or give you the hope that love as awesome as it is, exists.
Now I am not hating on your average “soul” artists but it is beginning to get annoying to hear about bumping, grinding and being a little freak more than soulful love, intimacy and kindness. What happened to songs that talked about doing anything to see a smile on your partner’s face? These songs encouraged you to bring your girl her favorite flowers or surprise her with a small token of love or even surprise lunch. I mean even for the cheap at heart (like myself) or those whose pockets are thin, there was always something that inspired us to do things out of love.
I even miss the songs about heartbreak that you listened to after a break-up. I mean after that idiot dumped you, you could listen to a song that related to your emotions regardless if you cried yourself into depression or simply destroyed their belongings. Now I am by no means encouraging any “Waiting to Exhale” behavior but the point is, where is the emotion nowadays?
Now songs only incite your libido. I am tired of hearing how many chicks/dudes folks can have or money. Quite frankly I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!!!! It’s ok to hear an occasional song about getting freaky but every single, bloody song is about sex, getting laid, getting high/drunk or getting money. Even to the raps. Are we running out of originality or are we allowing the music industry to turn us into clones who only listen to what they believe brings in the $$$$? Like I said I have love for the artists/poets of today and despite how I feel there are some soul artists who show the soul and love musically.
Honestly it’s no wonder a girl can’t get her man to do a damn nice thing for her, he’s busy thinking about getting busy! Ask a guy when is the last time he got her some flowers or gave her a massage or her favorite fragrance (Birthday, Valentine’s or Mother’s day excluded)?
And ladies you aren’t off the hook either, these stripper-themed songs aren’t encouraging anything much better. When is the last time you cooked for your man instead of worrying about outdoing the whore next door? Better question, do any of us amongst my generation even know where the kitchen is? Just curious, why is it that women just want a guy for money? I put it like this, if you gotta keep asking for money on payday or for him to do this/that for you, you have 2 options: 1) You can get a job/additional income and help yourself. 2) If he was any kind of real man, you wouldn’t have to nag/beg so much and thus you can find a man you shouldn’t have to ask for help over and over again because he would fulfill that need among others as his role as provider.
I am just curious where the love went is all… What happened to showing someone you care or surprising them for G.P. without sex having to be the only benefit? No wonder the divorce rate is high and fidelity is so low…
Well I was driving to work the other day like I always do and after dropping my daughter off at school I listened to the radio. Normally I prefer a CD or the shenanigans of talk radio or news in the morning but I felt the urge to hear some good ol’ Rhythm and Blues. Well I must say that although, it incites a “feel good urge” and it makes you bob your head, it by all means does not move your soul or give you the hope that love as awesome as it is, exists.
Now I am not hating on your average “soul” artists but it is beginning to get annoying to hear about bumping, grinding and being a little freak more than soulful love, intimacy and kindness. What happened to songs that talked about doing anything to see a smile on your partner’s face? These songs encouraged you to bring your girl her favorite flowers or surprise her with a small token of love or even surprise lunch. I mean even for the cheap at heart (like myself) or those whose pockets are thin, there was always something that inspired us to do things out of love.
I even miss the songs about heartbreak that you listened to after a break-up. I mean after that idiot dumped you, you could listen to a song that related to your emotions regardless if you cried yourself into depression or simply destroyed their belongings. Now I am by no means encouraging any “Waiting to Exhale” behavior but the point is, where is the emotion nowadays?
Now songs only incite your libido. I am tired of hearing how many chicks/dudes folks can have or money. Quite frankly I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!!!! It’s ok to hear an occasional song about getting freaky but every single, bloody song is about sex, getting laid, getting high/drunk or getting money. Even to the raps. Are we running out of originality or are we allowing the music industry to turn us into clones who only listen to what they believe brings in the $$$$? Like I said I have love for the artists/poets of today and despite how I feel there are some soul artists who show the soul and love musically.
Honestly it’s no wonder a girl can’t get her man to do a damn nice thing for her, he’s busy thinking about getting busy! Ask a guy when is the last time he got her some flowers or gave her a massage or her favorite fragrance (Birthday, Valentine’s or Mother’s day excluded)?
And ladies you aren’t off the hook either, these stripper-themed songs aren’t encouraging anything much better. When is the last time you cooked for your man instead of worrying about outdoing the whore next door? Better question, do any of us amongst my generation even know where the kitchen is? Just curious, why is it that women just want a guy for money? I put it like this, if you gotta keep asking for money on payday or for him to do this/that for you, you have 2 options: 1) You can get a job/additional income and help yourself. 2) If he was any kind of real man, you wouldn’t have to nag/beg so much and thus you can find a man you shouldn’t have to ask for help over and over again because he would fulfill that need among others as his role as provider.
I am just curious where the love went is all… What happened to showing someone you care or surprising them for G.P. without sex having to be the only benefit? No wonder the divorce rate is high and fidelity is so low…
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Bleeders (A Bitch Blog)
Ok, say you're sitting home at night on a weekend. A "friend" or [insert word here] calls you to hang out. You really don't want to because this person is notorious for the BS but it beats watching re-runs of Family Guy. So you take them up on the offer to meet up and just when you're thinking you're having an ok time waiting for them to show...then FUCK! They flee you off or basically stand you the hell up for whatever reason that doesn't involve a visit to the ER or other emergency! Sucks don't it? I know, it's happened to yours truly more times than I care to count...and by the same useless pricks. Of course you pitch a bitch and get mad but then they have the sheer audacity to get mad at you for getting pissed.
So what do you do?
A "friend" or [insert word here] asks for a huge monetary donation. They claim to repay it back but you know as well as I do, they won't hence the play on the word: "donation." Anyway, you tell them no for whatever reason be it you're tapped out yourself or the fact you just want to keep your hard-earned pesos to yourself for once. You try to finger their sense of compassion/understanding. But BULLOCKS and not-so-oddly, they have the sheer audacity to get mad at you?!?
So what do you do?
You do what any other self-loathing fool does...you suck it up! You yes YOU subject yourself to the anal raping that is so-called love. Whether it's a friend, lover or relative...you take their shit and stand there to wait for more. Again and again! When will we stop this chaotic cycle of charades?
I know I long for the days of blissful independence instead of stressful companionship!
THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER BITCH BLOG...
! |
Either I'm having one of those days or I'm back to being fed up!
So what do you do?
A "friend" or [insert word here] asks for a huge monetary donation. They claim to repay it back but you know as well as I do, they won't hence the play on the word: "donation." Anyway, you tell them no for whatever reason be it you're tapped out yourself or the fact you just want to keep your hard-earned pesos to yourself for once. You try to finger their sense of compassion/understanding. But BULLOCKS and not-so-oddly, they have the sheer audacity to get mad at you?!?
So what do you do?
You do what any other self-loathing fool does...you suck it up! You yes YOU subject yourself to the anal raping that is so-called love. Whether it's a friend, lover or relative...you take their shit and stand there to wait for more. Again and again! When will we stop this chaotic cycle of charades?
I know I long for the days of blissful independence instead of stressful companionship!
THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER BITCH BLOG...
! |Either I'm having one of those days or I'm back to being fed up!
Monday, May 3, 2010
THE CHICA IS BACK
It's been more than a year since I last sought to blog! I mean I have jotted some brain farts here and there but nothing worthy of sharing. Aside from that there has been the daily doings I've done nothing but consumed myself in!
Well suffice to say, the Drunken Insomniac is BACK! I am here to stay with a new sight in search of new faces to hear me bitch and moan, complain and compliment, review and revere through poetry and just plain ol' jibberish.
In the last year I have been consumed with a flush of emotions but I have ignored the one thing that brought me simplicity and solace and that my dear friends was writing... as well as sharing. I miss trading thoughts and what have you amongst those like myself. I entertained the idea of video blogging but the actuality of it is just exhausting and expensive knowing I need a new camcorder/webcam. In that I feel happy with good ol' fashion words. So to all those YouTubing techies who ain't trying to read...suck it up & get your glasses and Visine and GET TO READING!!!!
To my old friends and new fans...I say hello and it feels so great to be back!!!!
PS. I will post links on Facebook and MySpace to the new blogspot. Oh occasionally I will post a vid of some sort til I get a new cam. And if you are here for the first time around, check out the archives from my blogs on Myspace (Click the note pad banner!)
DAMN...it feels good to stay up late with a purpose! ((stay tuned))
D.I.W.
Well suffice to say, the Drunken Insomniac is BACK! I am here to stay with a new sight in search of new faces to hear me bitch and moan, complain and compliment, review and revere through poetry and just plain ol' jibberish.
In the last year I have been consumed with a flush of emotions but I have ignored the one thing that brought me simplicity and solace and that my dear friends was writing... as well as sharing. I miss trading thoughts and what have you amongst those like myself. I entertained the idea of video blogging but the actuality of it is just exhausting and expensive knowing I need a new camcorder/webcam. In that I feel happy with good ol' fashion words. So to all those YouTubing techies who ain't trying to read...suck it up & get your glasses and Visine and GET TO READING!!!!
To my old friends and new fans...I say hello and it feels so great to be back!!!!
PS. I will post links on Facebook and MySpace to the new blogspot. Oh occasionally I will post a vid of some sort til I get a new cam. And if you are here for the first time around, check out the archives from my blogs on Myspace (Click the note pad banner!)
DAMN...it feels good to stay up late with a purpose! ((stay tuned))
D.I.W.
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